The February Editor's Pick Poet is Norbert Hirschhorn

Please feel free to email Norbert at: bertzpoet@yahoo.com

THE MOUSER AND THE HUNK

She wasn’t just a good mouser,
she was a great mouser.
A terror for vermin in their lair
who scarcely dared emerge even
at night to scrounge the weest mite.
Mouser, you see, always slept
with one eye peeled. 

Cosseted by the farmer’s wife,
her runways the house, barns and field –
but, something was missing: oh,
what, she didn’t quite know.  Maybe
the chase had begun to pall,
the endless vigil and all,
or perhaps...  One day, she realized.

Mice, prolific, hung on, persisted;
so when the exterminator from
P. Piper & Sons came to call –
randy, chesty, a regular Brad Pitt –
that was it: Mouser fell in love.

She prayed to Our Holy Lady of Felines,
‘Please change me into an Angelina Jolie.’ 
Our Lady, always keen for fun, 
with nothing else to do, did.
Mouser and Hunk straight away
spilled into the nearest hay rick.

The goddess, a prankish soul really, loosed
a rodent amidst the carnal doings.
Mouser, one eye open while
kissing deeply, leapt to the ground,
seized the beastie, crunched it bloody whole.
Hunk’s member retreated to its sac.

And that, dear cats, was that. 

What’s bred in the bone comes out in the flesh.

Based loosely on Aesop’s Fable #76, “The House-ferret and Aphrodite.”

DESIGN COMPETITION ON MOUNT OLYMPUS                                              

After all the ichor, sweat and tears
three finalists finally appear
before Momus, the judge.

Momus: Son of night-goddess Nyx,
blamer, complainer, malicious whiner –
a little prick.

Up number one: Zeus (round of applause for Zeus!).
he’s designed the perfect bull: flawless horns,
so well-hung to sire a thousand more.

“Well,” said Momus, “interesting but
you should’ve put razor spikes on the horns
so the initial gore will be fatal.”

Next, Aphrodite, who’s built the perfect house:
circular beds and mirrored ceilings,
views of Olympus, the sea, etc.

“Well,” said Momus, “interesting but
you should’ve put the house on wheels
So when the scenery palls it can roam about.”

Last up, Prometheus, and his perfect woman:
calves like Chrissy Evert, fleshy mons veneris,
succulent ass, rounded breasts tipped up.

“Well,” said Momus, “interesting but
it’s all silicone, would be like fucking
a rubber porn doll.

I now declare: No winner this year, none at all.”

The three finalists huddled for a minute,
Then decapitated the shitfaced critic.
          
Loosely based on Aesop’s Fable #124

SNOW WHITE

isn't into dwarf rights,
cares not a fig for mine safety
or forest ecology:
she's set her cap for the prince
and his castle –
meantime, she blows
seven old men in a single bed.

Norbert Hirschhorn is a physician specializing in international public health, commended in 1993 by President Bill Clinton as an “American Health Hero.” He now lives in London and Beirut. 

Norbert received a Master's in Fine Arts degree from Vermont College in 1994.  His poems have been published in over three dozen journals, five anthologies, four pamphlets (the most recent: The Terrible Crystal, from Hearing Eye, London, March 2008), and two full collections: A Cracked River, Slow Dancer Press, London, 1999, and Mourning in the Presence of a Corpse, Dar al-Jadeed, Lebanon, May 2008.  A third collection, Night-Time Shadows, is out to publishers.  Please feel free to visit Norbert's website at www.bertzpoet.com.